family

A Broken Family or a Restructured Family?

restructured family

Does divorce have to break a family completely, or can a family emerge from a split in a restructured form that is healthy and hopeful?   Similar to debt restructure in bankruptcy, restructuring a life can be painful, uncertain, promising, challenging, and ultimately either provide a new framework for a satisfying life OR lead down to a path of destruction.  Viability is determined not by the decision to restructure, but by the careful planning and steps taken after the decision has been made.

Stonewalling

Stone wall eliminates communication

Stonewalling: To refuse to cooperate, especially in supplying information.  It is employed by those who are indifferent and who wish to punish.  When passion exists (a very positive or very negative emotion), stonewalling is impossible.  The one who endures stonewalling is often clueless about what the conflict is about.  It is the epitome of an unfair fighting strategy.  One is left to fill in the blanks with the most extreme, even irrational conclusions. 

Friends are the Family We Create for Ourselves

Friends are family we create for ourselves

About ten years ago, a friend sent a greeting card to me that said, “Friends are the family we create for ourselves.” I had never thought about creating a new family - one of my choosing - although I had built strong and deep friendships over the years. This new identification of my inner circle of friends as “family” changed the way I viewed their role in my life.